


Making Right

by babybel



Category: Doctor Who, Doctor Who (1963)
Genre: Gen, Happy Ending, Post-Serial: s037 The Tomb of the Cybermen, but it's more dealing with what happened in evil of the daleks, but what about CLOSURE?? what about actually talking about it????? anyway here you go, i just think there should be more closure with how jamie forgives 2 for All That Shit, i know jamie yelled at him and that was good
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-01
Updated: 2020-11-01
Packaged: 2021-03-09 01:34:18
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,540
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27336490
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/babybel/pseuds/babybel
Summary: After Telos, Jamie and the Doctor get into an argument, which, as it turns out, is a proxy for another, heavier argument. One thing leads to another and suddenly they're talking about the one thing they've pointedly not talked about since they left Earth for Skaro: what happened at Maxtible's mansion.
Relationships: Second Doctor & Jamie McCrimmon
Comments: 6
Kudos: 19





	Making Right

**Author's Note:**

> smh canon didn't even show me the process of forgiveness... the influence evil of the daleks would have had on their friendship... literally i have to do everything myself around here
> 
> jokes aside i've been tweaking this for like seven months and i'm finally finally happy with it so. cheers <3

“Where’s Victoria?” the Doctor inquired, trying to find a way into conversation that wasn’t too off the bat. 

“Went to her room,” Jamie replied, coming the rest of the way over to where the Doctor was sat by the library fireplace. “She gave up trying to teach me letters, said I had to stop fooling around if I wanted to learn anything.” 

“Were you?”

“What?”

“Fooling around.”

“No,” said Jamie, instantly defensive. “It’s just- she was talking like- maybe parts of it were funny, but I was being proper.” 

“I’m sure you were.” The Doctor set his diary aside on the little table by his chair. “Would you like a seat?” He nodded towards the other armchair, also tilted towards the fire. 

Jamie shrugged, and dropped into the chair. 

“This is good timing, actually, because I- well, I have something to talk to you about,” the Doctor said gingerly. 

“Good.” Jamie was looking into the fire. “I’ve something to talk to you about as well.” He sounded a few clicks off from being angry, and it seemed sudden but his tone had hardly changed. Maybe he’d been angry when he came in. 

“You’re in a temper, aren’t you.” The Doctor tried not to sound vindictive, but this would throw everything off. He didn’t want an argument. “Maybe I ought to go and we’ll have this talk another time, how’s that sound?”

Jamie glared up at him. “When we were on Telos- what was that?”

“What was what?” the Doctor asked, intent on not raising his voice. 

“‘Jamie, stay back’, ‘Jamie, keep behind me’, ‘Jamie, wouldn’t it be better if you stayed up here?’” Jamie said it sharply, and with none of his usual humour. 

The Doctor clicked his pen shut and set it down next to the diary perhaps a little aggressively. “Is that what you’re angry about? You’re blaming me for wanting to keep you safe? Of all the ridiculous-” 

“You made me stay behind when you needed help and you put other men in danger because you wanted-” Jamie drew a sharp breath, and his ears were going red, which they always did when he got really upset over something. “I’m not better than anyone there, and I should have been with you instead of those men. It’s our job to keep people safe-” 

“That’s my job, Jamie, not-”

“-and I can’t do that if you’re sending them into danger when it should be me.” Jamie got up and walked around his chair, looking pointedly down at the Doctor over the back of it. 

“See, this is exactly what I wanted to talk about,” the Doctor said softly. He and Jamie were too similar; if Jamie was angry, he’d carry the Doctor right along with him until they were shouting at each other. He couldn’t afford to have this talk go that way, and very intentionally kept himself quiet, made himself think before speaking. 

“Oh.” Jamie sounded like he hadn’t expected that. “Apologizing, are you?”

“What? No, Jamie, I- I’d do it again-”

“You can’t treat me like I’m worth more than them,” Jamie snapped. “They’re all- they were scientists and men who knew things- and you brought them, and it should’ve been- I didn’t know anything that could help, I don’t even know my letters, like Victoria keeps telling me-”

“Stop it,” the Doctor said, perhaps too harshly, because Jamie looked shocked. “Sit down.” 

Jamie did, jaw clenched tight. 

“I wanted to have a talk to you about- and this now seems a little too on the nose, doesn’t it.” The Doctor sighed. “You do throw yourself into harm’s way, Jamie. Quite a lot.” 

Jamie was kicking his heel back against one of the legs of the chair, and he looked furious, but didn’t interrupt with anything. 

“We’ve just been so busy before - there’s always so much happening - that I suppose I didn’t really realize it was something I ought to try and stop until just now on Telos.” He looked down at his hands, which were sitting in his lap, fingers laced together. 

“Since when am I your responsibility?” The way Jamie said it, it had lost all credibility as an honest question and just seemed like a dare to argue. 

“Since you agreed to come along with me, Jamie, don’t be stupid.” The Doctor looked up at him immediately, and knew he shouldn’t have said that. It was just a familiar turn of phrase, it didn’t mean anything, and yet it was too close to home, and now there was a sharp, horrible silence, and he was staring at Jamie and Jamie was staring right back at him. 

Finally, Jamie said, “I’m not stupid.” 

“I know, I didn’t mean it. It was just-”

“Just what?”

The Doctor looked down, and couldn’t answer. 

“That’s it with you,” said Jamie, bitterly, with this air of superiority that was just an invitation to get furious at him. “You say whatever you want to make people listen to you and like you and then you go back on it and none of it matters.”

“That’s not true, Jamie,” he argued, meekly. 

“It is, though.” Jamie looked off into the fire. “On Telos you were trying to keep me out of trouble and treating me like I was- valuable, or- but then just a bit ago at Maxtible’s you talked me into doing that- that experiment- and you tricked me, and you did it so well I didn’t even realize you tricked me till the day after it happened- and that could’ve killed me ten times over, and I don’t know which one you actually mean.” 

“That’s why I did it,” the Doctor said, quietly. He hadn’t expected Jamie to even connect the two, much less make sense of them. He hadn’t really slept since what happened at Maxtible’s mansion; every time he thought he might be able to, he remembered how easy it had been to talk Jamie into that stupid experiment, and how he hadn’t thought twice about doing it. “I thought that if I could keep you as safe as possible on Telos it might make up for what I did.” 

“Are you lying?” Jamie asked, without condescension, just openly. 

“No, I’m not. I swear I’m not, I’m- Jamie, I’m so sorry.” He sighed, and came to terms with the fact that he’d have to try and excuse it, even though there was really no excuse. “At Maxtible’s, it was just that it truly was a fascinating thing, and I really thought I’d be able to do some good with it. I got- I was too caught up in the science of it, and gathering data, and research-”

“I’m not research.” Jamie’s voice was low. 

“I know- I know that,” the Doctor said, and was sure he sounded pathetic. “Jamie, of course I know that, and I shouldn’t have- I should have been honest with you and told you what was happening instead of manipulating you into it.” It sounded even worse saying it out loud, and he felt worse than he could ever remember feeling. He wasn’t sure he’d ever be able to look at Jamie again. When it came down to it, he had done a cruel thing. Maybe for a good reason, but that in no way made it all right. He was torn between needing Jamie to tell him it was fine and pretend it never happened and knowing that Jamie shouldn’t forgive him. 

“Aye, you should’ve.” 

“I’m sorry.” 

“You said that.” 

“I do want you safe,” he tried. It would be a struggle to say what he actually thought without Jamie doubting him, he realized. “More than anything. I couldn’t- I couldn’t bear it if anything happened to you, I-”

“Ha.” Jamie was fidgeting again, scuffing his heel over the rug in front of the fireplace. “S’that why you sent me through that test? Because of course nothing would happen to me there, nowhere’s safer than-”

“Jamie, please.” He wanted to hold his hands over his ears, and settled for pressing his fingers against his temples instead. “I only let you go through that-”

“You made me go through that, I didn’t have a choice.”

The Doctor felt like things might be better if he disappeared. “You’re right,” he said, quietly. “You’re right. I did- I didn’t give you a choice. But I only made you go through it because I knew you’re strong enough and smart enough to keep yourself alive. I knew you’d be fine.”

“But you couldn’t be sure.” Jamie didn’t sound angry anymore. 

“I couldn’t, no. I had to trust you.” He sighed. “I thought that I’d be able to make it up if I just kept you out of harm’s way forever.”

“I don’t want to be out of harm’s way,” said Jamie quietly. “That’s why- I can’t trust anyone else to make sure you’re safe, that’s why I’m not going to let you make me stay behind again when you do something dangerous.”

The Doctor wished Jamie would go back to yelling at him, because this was worse. “I don’t think you ought to care whether I’m safe, after what I did.” After a good while of silence, he made himself look up, just for a second. 

Jamie was looking into the fire and chewing on his bottom lip. 

“I think I should drop you off somewhere,” the Doctor said carefully, and it killed him. “You told me, in Maxtible’s lab, that you wanted to leave, and I think that might be for the best.” 

“No.” Jamie said it immediately. “I’m- I don’t want to leave. I don’t want to be somewhere I can’t make sure you’re all right.” 

“But I’m-”

“It was a mistake,” said Jamie quickly. “I know it was a mistake, and I’ve never seen a man regret something more than you now. I mean- you look like you’re trying to melt into your chair.” He laughed shortly and quietly. “I thought for a second that maybe it was the kind of thing you did all the time, and I don’t like getting tricked like that, but I can tell it’s- I can tell you’re not going to do it again. You’re not, are you?”

The Doctor sighed. “No. I promise you, although that doesn’t count for much.”

“I believe you,” Jamie said. “Now promise you won’t put other people in danger to keep me safe. Let me chose the risks I take, will you?”

“But, Jamie, I’ve got to keep you safe-” 

“No, I’ll keep myself safe. You don’t worry about that. I’m not your ward, I’m- we’re equals.” There was a slight questioning tone to Jamie’s voice, like he wasn’t sure if the Doctor would agree with him or not. 

“Of course we are,” the Doctor relented. “I promise.”

“So treat me that way.” 

“I will. I will.” 

“And would it kill you to look at me?”

The Doctor lifted his eyes.

Jamie didn’t look angry, just concentrated, no hint of a smile on his face. “No one’s perfect, not even you,” he said. “That’s a human factor, too, you know.” 

The Doctor nodded, swallowing. He wasn’t sure how Jamie meant it. 

“I know you’re not human,” Jamie continued, “but I think it still stands for you that mistakes are all right as long as you learn something from them, right?” Then, he took a breath. “I’m not holding it against you any longer and I can’t stop caring for you so please don’t make me leave.” 

“Jamie, I’ll never make you do anything ever again.” The words came out in a rush, and he didn’t know whether to be relieved or upset. 

“I said some- not good things. I’m sorry.” Jamie leaned his head on his hand, his elbow on the arm of the chair. He looked tired, and still dead serious.

“Oh, no, you had every right to. Every right.” He realized, that whether he deserved it or not, things were going to turn out all right. He wasn’t quite sure what happened immediately next, though. He’d never been in the position of being forgiven like this - he’d never done anything nearly as cruel before, and in the past, he usually ran after making any sort of mistake. “Jamie, why did you- well- how can you be forgiving me?”

“Because I think I know you.” Jamie gave a little shrug. “I can tell when someone’s hurt over something, I’m good about knowing what people feel. I know you’re not going to do what you did at Maxtible’s again. I’m- I do trust you. Might be stupid of me, like you said-”

“I didn’t mean it.”

“I know.” Finally, finally, there was a hint of a smile on Jamie’s face. 

The Doctor felt like maybe he could breathe again. 

“Plus, you’re all I’ve got,” Jamie added, looking down at his boots. “Which I don’t mind. I wouldn’t have it another way.”

“I’m afraid I’m the same.” The Doctor sighed, and let himself relax in little increments. “We’ve got all of space and all of time, Jamie. We could be with anyone, anywhere, anywhen, and-”

“And we’re sat here having a spat in the library,” Jamie finished, and then he snorted, shaking his head and looking away to hide his smile. 

“Well, that does make us sound silly, doesn’t it.” The Doctor cleared his throat. “What I was going to say is that there isn’t anywhere I’d rather be.”

Jamie’s smile faded, slightly. “Good. Me either. Hold on-” He got out of his chair and instead sat down on the rug in front of the fire. “Now there isn’t anywhere I’d rather be.” 

After a moment, the Doctor went and sat next to him. “Jamie,” he mumbled, “I am sorry. I really am.” 

“You think I don’t know?” Jamie was watching the fire again, and he leaned his shoulder against the Doctor’s. 

“Well, at the risk of being redundant, then,” the Doctor said quietly. 

Jamie was pulling at loose threads in the rug absentmindedly, maybe nervously, and he said, “You’re a good man, I think.” Then, he added, “If you are a man.”

“I’m close enough, sometimes,” the Doctor replied. “Thank you, Jamie. Coming from you, that’s quite a lot.” 

“Don’t flatter me.” 

“I’m not, I’m- that’s honesty.” 

Jamie took a deep breath, and blew it out slowly. He brought a hand up and rubbed one of his eyes, and then he tipped his head to the side, leaning it against the Doctor’s. 

The Doctor leaned into Jamie as well, until they were the only thing keeping each other up. 

After minutes of just watching the fire burn, Jamie asked, “Will you help me with my letters? Just for a bit? I want Victoria to know I’m taking it seriously.”

“Of course,” the Doctor answered. He found that he didn’t want to get up. 

“Maybe tomorrow,” Jamie said quietly, voicing the Doctor’s thoughts. “Hey, Doctor, we’re all right, aren’t we?”

The Doctor sighed, and, if possible, settled even further into Jamie. “I think so.” He realized that as long as they talked, honestly, like they just had - and he was better at honesty when it was with Jamie - that nothing could split them up, probably ever. “Yes, Jamie. We’re all right.” 

**Author's Note:**

> find me on tumblr @lesbiandonnanoble !!


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